mya90 wrote:yes i need to understand myself better.

its because i am not very experienced with men. and generally with people.
it doesnt mean i am an alien type of a person.
but until 25 year old i was seen only as a best friend, or a friend type.

I know Aries women have struggles finding a man.
A lot of my friends didnt know i didnt have a boyfriend so long.

It's not anyone's fault.
I Know in some age period young men want only perfect women, instagram body- i am more laid back and normal.

Everytime i was abroad i didnt have problems finding men. A lof of my male friends have been more picky than girls.
I dont know but probably its a cultural thing.

Yes, Aries women sometimes have struggles to find a man (interesting way to put it, BTW), especially in more traditional societies, and that's because of their self-assertiveness. That may be a trait of yours you may not be fully aware of, but its influence on your relationships is not least clearly suggested by sign ruler Mars being conjunct the DSC and Venus.

That it's easier for you to find men when abroad doesn't surprise me, since in the equal system, the cusp of the fifth house (romantic affairs) is in Sagittarius, a sign that loves to travel. Getting together with a foreigner staying in your own country may be an option.

Men were attracted to me because i have some kind of an innocent aura. But when they dig depper it showed insecurities and me being friendly which was very OFF to them because they didnt like me being friendly they wanted me to be famme fatale.

Frankly, this paragraph confuses me a bit. On the one hand, you say that it was your "innocent aura" that attracted men to you, and this seems to be going hand in hand with your friendly side. On the other hand, you said they wanted you to be a "femme fatale". And I can see that side of you as well, since Pluto is aspecting your Moon and Venus.

I believe that both of those sides of yours are making you attractive, each in its own particular way. Just be yourself!

Me and my family is more laid back. I have australian, american, japanese friends. They are all nicer and more polite than my polish friends. WHY?
No idea.

Astrologically speaking, the explanation could be that Jupiter is still in the eleventh equal house (provided that your time of birth is sufficiently accurate), so there again you have the link to Sagittarius, and it makes sense that your friendships (the eleventh) tend to work out best with foreigners.

But the more i am here the more 'capricornian' i become. I need to be more serious and responsible for everything. I need to be mature and even when it comes to friends i need to show off i am serious and more mature.

Well, while being a mature and responsible person is a good thing, please don't neglect that light-hearted and playful side of yours. Don't let others dictate what kind of person you are supposed to be!

Keep in mind that Mars and Venus are in Aquarius, and so is - and this is of great importance - your Ascending Node. The latter shows what you are truly aspiring to be. And all these are in the seventh, so they naturally tend towards others.

As does your personality overall, since almost all the planets are in the right hemisphere of the chart.

before as my parents and family tought me, i was nice and open to a lot of people.
now i am more reserved and picky.
i dont want others to know me.

Again, I would advise you to be careful there. I understand you have been too open towards some insensitive people and got hurt. So yes, you may need to go the other way for awhile and seclude yourself to give yourself room for healing (Chiron being in Cancer and twelfth). But avoid going to the other extreme now and closing yourself off too much.

Have the courage to shine your light! The right people will understand you - they are the ones that matter.

That being said, finding the proper balance between opening and closing (protecting) yourself is key for you.

i havent experienced it abroad anywhere.

Have you considered living abroad then, in a country that resonates more with you? Poland is part of the EU. That fact alone provides you with a lot of choice...

james_m wrote:mya,

thanks for the additional comments..

i really think you need to step back from the soap opera of your life and really get to know yourself better... use the astrology to do this.. give yourself time and be gentle with yourself... don't get caught up with what others think...that is a losing game! stay focused on the positive and on what you can do to make your life all that you would like to see... let life come to you some too, as opposed to thinking you have to do battle with everything all the time.. you remind me of myself - and i am an aries too!

at present you are going thru an important phase - saturn return, and this is made more significant given the conjunction of your moon to saturn.. read up on the transit of saturn to moon... you have many strengths but i think you need to learn more about yourself, before you can enter a relationship in a fully conscious way... this kinda goes with the idea of saturn being in the lower hemisphere on your chart by transit, and getting ready for it to move up into the upper hemisphere when it crosses your descendant in the next few years... you are young... give yourself time to work things out.. let life come to you and stay positive.. people are their own worst enemies sometimes... be a good friend to yourself first..

hello,
you are right i am doing an inner or an outter battle because i feel not fair.
i mean i know life and general everything is not fair.

i have learnt not to care about stuff like that and actually do my thing. i have learnt to walk away first and make myself chased by others than stay and chase others. people are quick and even best friends can betray you.

iam doing an inner battle because i think its because of my parents.
i came back to my family home in september last year ( when i came back from spain).

ihave a younger sister who also studies the same.
in life , generally in family we all have been raised to help each other and to be nice to each other.
in high school i was usually doing 1000 things plus school, some additional classes, organisations. my sister was only meeting her friends, taking money from parents and parying. I was always worring about getting matured, i wanted to be responsible and so one.
But the outer fact that i was and still i am older made me think more responsible for her.
And itw as me always who was taking care of her even though she was not doing anything. She started stuydying the same, having the same friends , i was always introducing her to my companies because she was my syster. She never did the same because she preffered to play the Sims or spend money on other things.

Life turned out that we finish studies on the same time. Its because my being in SPain to work. She have never worked as an architect. i did 10 internships abroad and in a country. BUT IT WAS ALWAYS ME who needed to look for her and took care for her because she was the youngers.

And parents didnt care that i wanted to achieve sth more, different , they even were telling me in 2016 or 2017 that is my sister and when she is alone i need to provide her company with my friends. because family needs to cooperate and help each other.

I felt unfair because i was always working, always giving her money, always introducing her to my friends, my new projects. My friends started inviting her because SHE WAS my sister and she didnt move a finger to make her own company and so one.

Its not fair. And whevener i wasnted to argue i couldnt because its my family. I feel unfair.

She is on the same level as i am. We do this international architecture workshops together with other people. My friends introduced me there and then told her because she was my sister...
She doesnt do much.......

I hate it because its always me who takes care of the whole and do 90% and she does 10% and then is treated in a same way by everyone and i am tired........ its not fair...

i know that people have strong siblings connections but usually my friends who have siblings have different professions and different companies. My sister doesnt think its a problem because she does her way. BUT if it wasnt me she didnt do her way because i was always giving her my passed exams because she wouldnthave passed alone... she was given a lot of my study notes and works...

And that is she has a calm mind and she is serious she doesnt get moved like me and she doesnt get frustrated because she does her way.

But she only sits home and play the sims now. The problem is that she also judge people very badly. She can gossip around and etc. She has never had a company of friends... because for her friends have not been like she wanted them to be.
so she only sits home play sims, buy clothes, study architecture.


and me- moreo pen person who is always shaky inside subconsciously must take care of her because i am older. and always parents were telling me i needed to do it.

even now. when i go out and she stays home. she always complains and parents tell i need to take her with me.

but i dont want.


i felt better when i was abroad and everyone had different lives, connections. it was more natural and normal. i was very calm in SPain because i had my own life and i was coming back to my family as an adult person.


HERE i need to share my room, i need to share my privacy , i am not as responsible as i was in spain because its a family thing.

i know its good to live like that but i dont have my private life. and when im 27 friends dont wanna visit me because i still live with parents...


and the other problem to mention is that the more time i spend with her ( home, work, study) the more home-like i become. she always was telling me that i needed to behave differently.

the problem is that when you are home you are nice to family members, when you have stressfull job or a stressfull studies you put a mask on to be more brave and you put yourself in that weird fake world of being professionals and make yourself better. you become harder inside and outside because like kicks your bottoms. but you become more focused on yourself and you achive goals.


BUT IN MY CASE the more time i spend with my sister at work or at studies i always hear her being frustrated because of my behaviour. she CANT TAKE and she CANT understand that at work or studies people change. its a battle. because only the best can win. AND SHE ALWAYS TELLS ME I DO WRONG AND I AM A BAD PERSON because I CHANGE and she sees that and SHE DOESNT LIKE IT. she was always telling it out parents even in 2016 or 2017.

i couldnt stand it. because at work even when we work together we need to be more sharp. and she doesnt understand and always CRITISIZE MY BEHAVIOUR. because she is always at home and doesnt know how work professional life look like.

and it makes me slow. because when you are nice and normal you cant achive things on the same level as being more focused and sharp... and she doesnt let me be that way because she alwyas thell i change and critisize me on a very bad way.

Michael Sternbach wrote:
I would like to direct your attention to the upcoming transit of Pluto over your Moon and Saturn. Which should give you plenty of opportunity for exploring and transforming your emotional life and the structures that you are taking for granted now. And your readiness for self discovery and internal change can help you alot going through the challenges that these transits may bring.

In this context, it is also noteworthy that Jupiter transited over your natal Pluto in the fourth house just a few months ago, which may have made you reflect on some of the (normally) deeply buried forces that are driving you.

Perhaps this may be considered a prelude to the time when Jupiter (after forming an opposition to his natal position) will catch up with Pluto in 2020, forming three conjunctions with him between roughly 23° and 25° Capricorn, thus activating your Moon and your Saturn at the same time as the latter. In-depth looks into your world view and philosophy of life will likely be the topic during that time.

Hello, thank you for the answer.
i feel like i have changed inside. even my family says i become more egoistical and i dont talk to them . its because i wanna have my private life.
my parents are very friendly they have an open souls, they raised us in a very friendly way.

BUT i think the problem is that a parent cant be best friend to a child because then he/she thinks he/she is better than child's friends.

my parents made me think that way. i didnt have a lot of friends in primary schoo. i wasnt allowed to go on some child camps and to go out because its dangerous.

generally when i started thinking about my life i feel like i was kind of restricted and since only high school i started having normal relationships. its because you need to learn from relationships and every relation needs to teach you something.

i was very picky and people didnt invite me to the things untill high school

Having the nonagesimal (cusp of tenth in the equal house system) and Part of Fortune in Taurus would seem to predispose you to architecture, to some degree - but then, isn't set design a kind of (interior) architecture as well? What kind of sets are we talking about?

its about set design in some film projects because in my city there is a worldwide known film school. and its actually me who always wanted to be a set designer as a maybe step back from a pure architecture. i still dont know if its better for me to design a scenography or a interior/exterior. i prefer set design...

thats why i have also an inner battle.
i know that the more i think about it the more time i spend and some people can outgo me. because i will think and they will work.

but its always been like that because i have always been doing things on my own without an background and a feedback.

james_m wrote:mya - it would be more interesting to look at your chart to understand why you are interested!

in the past few years - since 2015 - saturn would have gone over his pluto/ ascendant.. he has gone thru some type of self discovery and recognizes he has a certain type of power that not everyone has... he is probably less afraid and more confident in his abilities on a number of levels...

the saturn return emphasizes his creative drive - one will note capricorn is the 5th sign from his virgo sun, so creativity and his artistic pursuits are pronounced and significant to him... whether one wants to put the cap planets in the 2nd placidus or 3rd whole sign houses - i suppose it can be read a few ways.. saturn/neptune conjunction has a strong imagination with mercury/moon so close by... there is an oscillating vibe i always get from any saturn/jupiter opposition and this is emphasized more with mercury in libra at the top of a t square involving all these planets including the moon..

and, again i note the mercury in square to the moon as an important feature of his chart, given sun in virgo is ruled by mercury..

i would imagine he is doing fine and working hard at making a name for himself as an artist.. there may be some money woes - common for anyone trying to get a leg up in the art world and hopefully he will find a way to work thru this.. perhaps jupiter could be quite beneficial for him financially as it is strong in the sign cancer - regardless if in the 8th or 9th - it rules his 2nd house..

Hello,
its been almost 5 months since my last post here.
I just wanted to thank you for this post.

hmm What i would like to say is that i am cutting this man from my life even mentally.

I think you were right about his self discovery. Since 3 years probably before we met and had an affair he has been changing.
Now i think he is in the process - he is more mature and i think becomes a type i dont like.

I dont mean that we will never meet again, but his way of life and his lifestyle doesnt suit me.
Since 2014 and 15 he has put himself in some new company, popular company. He has a big mask on himself. wants to be a popular persona ( his parents are very popular in environment).

I think that some of his popular side is being showed off since a gew months/years.

He put himself in an environment i dont like, environment of being popular, addictin ( every type) music and other people.

I dont like it.

we can be friends but nothing more. His new environment is very dense, people are weird and strange .

Its not that i am a nun or a virgin Mary but i dont like this environment.

Even common friends leave this environment saying its too 'dense' and inaprioprate for some people.


I dont wanna do something againts myself even thought it means to be not popular or sth.

He has chosen this path maybe he has some underneath profit behind it i dont know. Maybe for him its getting attention and being recognised in every environment.

I am not like that. Even though he encouraged me to being the best - it doesnt mean i need to be addicted to something or to someone. I think that my aqua placements also indicate my liberalian ways of life. I can be like air just floating in life and not caring doing my thing. People dont like it.
I accomplish my goals but in other way. I dont push people that they feel bad about work. I let them do and i succeed in my way.


Since January a lot has happened with me and my inner persona. I am thankful for your all previous post . i feel better, more grounded, free like a reborn.
I dont need to show off to be acceptable.

People hide themselves and put others with confusion when they put off masks. I prefer to be a strong individual but real. Its very difficult to do.


I think i am getting matured and more grounded and serious. I like myself now.

I dont need to be surrounded by people who are the same. I am an individual who succeeds.

Additionally i think that a person needs to be free not to let anything rule you - people or stuff- what i am saying is about addiction here.
People claim that being popular being on the top means success- its right but usually there is a very bad dark side behind it. And i am right.
I dont wanna be involved in anything like that. I want to cut everything the way i want or stay whenever i want. I know that I am not a queen of the world and i can not control everyone's lifes .We can not control some things. I accepted that.
I control what i control, do what I do.
I like very 'light' relationships, even friendships. I cant stand being pushed or anything. I need to have space. Space is freedom for thought and living.

People who mix in the same environment addited to the same things are the ones who are weak. Not me. They let other things rule their mind. But what is the most significant and free muscle in your head unless its brain?
Why do people make it controlled by stuff?

I ll never make it.
I am strong. Noone will tell me other things.