why does Virgo ex still check on me ?

1
Hello,
so this is weird that i am posting this here.
Ive posted it before  i mean maybe one year ago. And I really appreciated your help and I know that maybe in the past i was asking too many questions.
As I already told you in my previous posts i moved on. I graduated, searching for a job, i look good ( not bragging)i feel good.
I consider moving out to the other city for a job.

What I want to say is about my last ex. Virgo guy.
We have been together  short time 3  years ago.
I Know that now he has been coming through his saturn return and is being changed but whenever i want to move on he doesnt want me to (?).

I am a bit different than  he is. All of his friends are more party-like, more laid back. I attended different school i am more 'technical' ,  i am even more stressed when you see me. Him and his friends are laid back people smoking drikning but working hard, very intelligent. He is more artistic I am more technical.

He comes from very rich family who was very strict and he's changed for super laid back guy totally different than his family. BUT he surrounds himself until now, with younger people, people whom  he can help financially and mentally. I know that his parents helped financially his 2 best friends and its a weird transaction.
After that help he felt better, more powerful. That he can have a hand upon someone.

He  wanted to help me as well because he knows my environment , his brother studies the same as me, so he wanted to help me by finding work and etc. But it was weird because it was in a way that i must have praised him or made him feel like a king.

I am Aries and i look only for the same-level partner. I dont wanna be mothered as i dont wanna look for a 'son' in a relationship. So his attidute was very weird to me . He is the same Moon as me- Capricorn so maybe that is why his attidute towards relationships is more economical and work- like.

Maybe i am too strict and i want to be recognised by my own, by only my work BUT i still sometimes get hints from him.

Its been 3 years i moved on and i started to be more powerful and etc. I look better, i sound better, i work better. I dont need 'any help' and i dont have anyone's back behind me . I  am not dependent on anyone.

I started to see that he has many more female youg friends that he can help. Usually the same artistic environment like his other old friends. I dont want to dig deeper in that but i am very very curious about WHY he behaves like this. And why he wants to HELP everyone. Because he comes from rich family? Because he has resources?

Is he really looking for a praise and a perfect woman? (Virgo sun, cap moon, venus in libra) or its just boosting his ego?

I started to ignore him as i even stopped using social media and put him in some restricted lists - he always comes back to 'check' how i do. He always wants to know even a little detail of me.

WHY?

I wonder if he now wants to 'check' because he remembers me or wants to see me more powerful?

I put synastry chart here and our composite.

Usually my other exes have been different. I dont get any hints from other exes. We all moved on, have different lifes. I am not curious about their lives. Why is this Virgo still checking on me? Why does he want to remain in contact?

He was giving me 'superlikes' on tinder.
He sees and comments almost every of my 'facebook messanger stories'.

Why? Why now? After 3 years? When i really am thinking about moving to the other city and i look better and i am more influencial here?

Because i have repaired myself and he thinks im better unit now? If he liked me the way i am he didnt have to break up with me because i was not popular and etc in the past.

What do you think?


thank you!

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2
Without house placements, it is hard to say why he wants to fix people. You can call it a Virgo thing if you want to but most Virgo males I know do not behave the way you described, and it likely is some other influences. Neptune coloring certain planets is often associated with wanting to save others, and I personally view a Moon-Neptune-Saturn link (which I also have but a little different and in the 6th) as something that can work this way, especially if it is in the 6th. I do not think his interest in you is just to fix you but if someone does have a lot of Virgo in their personality, one way that they show that they care about someone is to try to help or improve them, which can be annoying to those of us who feel like people should sweep their own doorsteps. I had a friend who was very Virgo-like and she never saw that her "help" was patronizing to people and that many people actually did not like her because of it.

Regarding his interest in you, you have a lot of links that seem more than just platonic to me. There is nodal Venus stuff going on, his Venus squares your Saturn and you obviously share the same Moon-Saturn-Neptune-Uranus configuration. Your natal Venus-Pluto square is activated and also something he would feel. My question is, what made you move on from him? Was he someone who made you feel bad about yourself? As someone who shares a similar configuration and who once loved someone who had one like mine, I think as karmic as it is, it is better to not pursue it because it causes feelings of inferiority, judgment, lack of ease around each other. There is almost a need for difficulty with Moon-Saturn, especially in synastry/composite, and it just gets old and there are easier relationships to have. I suppose it depends on the person, but I personally think this type of relationship acts as a mirror to show you things about yourself, and you do the same for him, but to make a long lasting relationship with so many difficult, yet longing influences is hard. In the young, it is also not usually represented in a mature fashion, and there can be a lot of headgames due to the sheer confusion of feelings (Neptune). I usually think of the literary characters Healthcliff and Catherine as the epitome of Moon-Saturn longing in relationships (probably mixed with Venus-Pluto obsession). The separation, longing, heartache, never really being happy, not feeling good enough, but entirely consumed. It is better left in literature than reality. He has probably occupied your mind a lot more than he deserves. With age, you will learn to respect yourself more and not put up with people like him, who probably also loves a good chase (Sun-Mars). Sure, an Aries gal is great with games, but games get boring and predictable too. Maybe his Saturn return is maturing him but it doesn't sound like he is doing anything concrete to show he is interested in taking something with you seriously and maturely. Even if he did, I have doubts that it would go well. Again, it is very hard to be at ease in a relationship with that much going on between two people.

3
Tanit3333 wrote:Without house placements, it is hard to say why he wants to fix people. You can call it a Virgo thing if you want to but most Virgo males I know do not behave the way you described, and it likely is some other influences. Neptune coloring certain planets is often associated with wanting to save others, and I personally view a Moon-Neptune-Saturn link (which I also have but a little different and in the 6th) as something that can work this way, especially if it is in the 6th. I do not think his interest in you is just to fix you but if someone does have a lot of Virgo in their personality, one way that they show that they care about someone is to try to help or improve them, which can be annoying to those of us who feel like people should sweep their own doorsteps. I had a friend who was very Virgo-like and she never saw that her "help" was patronizing to people and that many people actually did not like her because of it.

Regarding his interest in you, you have a lot of links that seem more than just platonic to me. There is nodal Venus stuff going on, his Venus squares your Saturn and you obviously share the same Moon-Saturn-Neptune-Uranus configuration. Your natal Venus-Pluto square is activated and also something he would feel. My question is, what made you move on from him? Was he someone who made you feel bad about yourself? As someone who shares a similar configuration and who once loved someone who had one like mine, I think as karmic as it is, it is better to not pursue it because it causes feelings of inferiority, judgment, lack of ease around each other. There is almost a need for difficulty with Moon-Saturn, especially in synastry/composite, and it just gets old and there are easier relationships to have. I suppose it depends on the person, but I personally think this type of relationship acts as a mirror to show you things about yourself, and you do the same for him, but to make a long lasting relationship with so many difficult, yet longing influences is hard. In the young, it is also not usually represented in a mature fashion, and there can be a lot of headgames due to the sheer confusion of feelings (Neptune). I usually think of the literary characters Healthcliff and Catherine as the epitome of Moon-Saturn longing in relationships (probably mixed with Venus-Pluto obsession). The separation, longing, heartache, never really being happy, not feeling good enough, but entirely consumed. It is better left in literature than reality. He has probably occupied your mind a lot more than he deserves. With age, you will learn to respect yourself more and not put up with people like him, who probably also loves a good chase (Sun-Mars). Sure, an Aries gal is great with games, but games get boring and predictable too. Maybe his Saturn return is maturing him but it doesn't sound like he is doing anything concrete to show he is interested in taking something with you seriously and maturely. Even if he did, I have doubts that it would go well. Again, it is very hard to be at ease in a relationship with that much going on between two people.

hello, thank you for such an informative answer. why did i move on?
it was all drama. company drama. i dont like drama because i like to do things my way and usually im 100% sure. but there are some bad bugs ( women) wanting to disturb everything. because they are jealous.
i learnt my lesson that my only female best friend is now my sister and my mum. i dont reveal anything in social media, any ideas any plans.

as i was new in a company ( but i knew everyone including Virgo man for 5-6 months before) i didnt know them so much. only this Taurus woman that you mentioned in a post some hours ago before editing.
i wrote about her also here maybe 2 years ago saying she was toxic and wanting only to damage things, lifes of others because she wanted to be the best - in company, at work, having praise of many boyfriends and etc.

so long story short she just made a big drama about me and Virgo man knowing we had a romance. she had a very weird influence on men including virgo as she would mother them and him.
there have been many times that i was confessing her
something about him and next day she was doing it with him as hashtagbest friends.
#copycat

because she knew i had many problems with men before i was not / i am not a person who pick up men. she is . so whenever she was she needed to be surrounded by men. even when she was in a relationship and still is she was having affairs with other ones. and only i know it. it has not been revealed i am waiting for the special moment to make her bad :) its my turn to tell something.

she gossiped to virgo abut me weird stuff that other friends told me 2 years after. that is why he was behaving weirdly to me.
also she was telling me stuff about virgo man. and i was at first listening to her because she knew him more but after some time i realised she was a liar. and jealous of one of her male friends being attracted to me.

i just walked away because i didnt like the influence she had on him. whenever she saw us somewhere she was texting him or calling him after ( i saw it on his cellphone) asking about me, us where we have been. as she would have problems with herself. there have been many many other similar situations.

but he didnt want to cut this off. so i cut it. i just went away. i left. i left her first , she was crying as a baby. i just shut myself, cut every relation that was connected to her, asked my friends also to block her in life and social media. as she would not have any evidence of me.
because she only gives bad and sadness and damage to peoples lives. she is bad person toxic person.

i cut also ties with him even though he didnt understand it. i told him that i didnt like her asking him about me, and all that stuff. always there was an aswer- were just friends. i didnt want to be the THIRS in THEIR RELATION.
He was putting her above me and knowing this she was using him and other male friends as toys. as she would be a famme fatale in a company.

its just weird because when he was alone or at work alone or holidays alone she didnt contact him. whevever he posted sth on fb with me or she saw us it was a quick reaction of her to comment, to mark the territory.

she was in unofficial relationships with 2 other male friends when she was already dating her current 5 year younger boyfriend. he doesnt know it.
since 2 months they live abroad in Benelux Countries.

i conclusion is that as men grow up and mature later than women he was under her influence as an older sister. and liked her as an oldder sister. with family problems from the past she liked to be in a control of her environment , everyone inside and their acts and reactions.
as i am graduated, workaholic, i am nice, intelligent come from normal family - she started to perceive me as a competition within a group.

i didnt care about her but she was unpleased with my reactions not praising her and being interested in her male friends. lol i didnt want to praise a female friend as i was single and wanted only a boyfriend. she sensed that and started to give a bad PR to me as she would be scared i would have taken her position in a group.

now she is abroad but 2 weeks ago our common friend ( who knew the situation) met up with her in Benelux Countries and SHE WAS STILL asking about me and talked about me being a bad girl cutting her off.

so she still has something inside her that cant stop thinkig of me. as my friend told me this 2 weeks ago i was surprised what image of myself i could give her and i did myself hi5 to be better than i expected.

i just didnt want to be the 3rd and i didnt understand why he was under her influence wanting also me? i didnt like it. and she was using this to have more male attention. ( knowing i was more shy in relationship matters).

I am sorry for the long answer.
After this moment i had some other relations but as i said before i keep quiet and i only have a few very good friends. I also was dating other man and even when virgo was giving me Superlikes on Tinder i didnt chat and contact him.


Maybe i was too sharp to him but i did it for my good and my mental stability. Now maybe he wants to re-check on me and see if we all have changed. I dont know.

4
Moon-Saturn (and Venus-Saturn) in synastry/composite can also show people or situations (obstacles) that cause separation between romantic partners, so this third wheel person makes a lot of sense and I can tell she really got under your skin. She is clearly a bit of a headcase and manipulative. It seems like you did the healthy thing to move on from both of them. It is possible he has changed and doesn't have other people interfering in his life like that but it seems unlikely to me. When connections between people are really difficult astrologically, it just tends to take a lot of work in general and not typically just for a little while, but with time Saturn can get easier. I think you would be happier with someone who brings out things like your exalted Sun (someone who is more firey) rather than focusing on your Capricorn configuration, which is more likely a tough spot. If he is very Virgo-like then I also doubt he will ever be particularly open and expressive with romantic regards. They are generally known for showing their regard in non romantic ways, such as his trying to help you. He would normally have some romantic tendencies with Venus in Libra but your Saturn squares that influence and stifles it, so his Venus is less flowing like it would be with other women. He probably feels like his charm doesn't work on you.

5
Tanit3333 wrote:Moon-Saturn (and Venus-Saturn) in synastry/composite can also show people or situations (obstacles) that cause separation between romantic partners, so this third wheel person makes a lot of sense and I can tell she really got under your skin. She is clearly a bit of a headcase and manipulative. It seems like you did the healthy thing to move on from both of them. It is possible he has changed and doesn't have other people interfering in his life like that but it seems unlikely to me. When connections between people are really difficult astrologically, it just tends to take a lot of work in general and not typically just for a little while, but with time Saturn can get easier. I think you would be happier with someone who brings out things like your exalted Sun (someone who is more firey) rather than focusing on your Capricorn configuration, which is more likely a tough spot. If he is very Virgo-like then I also doubt he will ever be particularly open and expressive with romantic regards. They are generally known for showing their regard in non romantic ways, such as his trying to help you. He would normally have some romantic tendencies with Venus in Libra but your Saturn squares that influence and stifles it, so his Venus is less flowing like it would be with other women. He probably feels like his charm doesn't work on you.
i am happy that this drama is over but its been 3.5 years and it doesnt make sense for me to come back. maybe i am too harsh and too strict. in the last couple of months i saw him on the streets- he was scared of me or i dont know. that was weird because i needed to pull away for my own good. not to be stressed. i cried so many times and i put a mask on myself.
noone knows it. only a few people. i am not a person who chases a man when he plays with other women. i just moved forward and when i did it i think that he started to see me differently. all of his female friends or other crushes have been 'beta', he was the ruler.
maybe it all depends on me but i dont wanna be a person who scares a man. i was so badly influenced and paranoied that shutting down emotionally , changing group of people and moving on was the only healthy option.

taurus with her current bf as i said before live abroad. she doesnt want to quit contact with anyone. so like an octopuss her 'hands' are always on the relationships knowing who does what. because she needs to know everything. she will never know me.

in the past when i wanted to move on to other man virgo was blocking me and them , knowing we all have been friends. as he was jealous or wanted me. that was weird because i read it as a sign of wanting to have me but other women as well. like polygamy. its not sth i play with.

he is the person who cuts people off first and does what he wants so maybe i was the only one who did it before him.

6
Tanit3333 wrote:Moon-Saturn (and Venus-Saturn) in synastry/composite can also show people or situations (obstacles) that cause separation between romantic partners, so this third wheel person makes a lot of sense and I can tell she really got under your skin. She is clearly a bit of a headcase and manipulative. It seems like you did the healthy thing to move on from both of them. It is possible he has changed and doesn't have other people interfering in his life like that but it seems unlikely to me. When connections between people are really difficult astrologically, it just tends to take a lot of work in general and not typically just for a little while, but with time Saturn can get easier. I think you would be happier with someone who brings out things like your exalted Sun (someone who is more firey) rather than focusing on your Capricorn configuration, which is more likely a tough spot. If he is very Virgo-like then I also doubt he will ever be particularly open and expressive with romantic regards. They are generally known for showing their regard in non romantic ways, such as his trying to help you. He would normally have some romantic tendencies with Venus in Libra but your Saturn squares that influence and stifles it, so his Venus is less flowing like it would be with other women. He probably feels like his charm doesn't work on you.
i think that also he is not interested in me anymore because i am single and i sometimes care and give a f***ck.
from what i see in social media and what others tell me he is a free spirit , freelancer working hard and doing his thing. he NOWADAYS hangs out usually with women, our common friends that are in relationships. married or engaged.
i reckon its because he feels safe coz they will not push him do any relation and he can be a 'best friend' to that women and generally a couple. so he is safe.
or he does a black job to make that women interested in him for being a friend for a long long time.
there are 3 of couples, married, engaged and in normal long relationship that he hangs out with. and usually men work and women from those relationships are more friendly so he hangs out with them as a 'friend'.

7
I honestly doubt there is lack of interest on his side but, like I said, Sun-Mars likes a chase, which can translate as headgames, especially being Virgo influenced, which is not particularly demonstrative in love and is also very practical (and critical). He has too many things in his own chart being activated for me to think lack of interest on his side but he sounds like he lacks maturity and might be more of a lone wolf type on an intimacy level (even if he has friends), which can be common in people with a lot of Saturn in their chart. It would be difficult for him to have emotional intimacy with someone and he would push people away as a result, even if you had not broken it off yourself. With his Venus squaring his Saturn influenced Moon-Neptune-Uranus there is a difficulty in reconciling wants and needs in relationships as well as being able to fully commit emotionally. Neptune makes that more difficult because the emotions are really confused or can be misguided, which can again lead to acting unsure, which translates as headgames. It would take a lot of work for him to figure out what he even wants, in spite of such strong masculine drives that suggest otherwise (his Mars and Pluto influenced Sun. He also probably deals with some of his own insecurities in spite of this and would be great at hiding them). Moon-Uranus is especially difficult if it came to living together because it is not great for domestic bliss. You are both a lot alike in some regards, though.

Often with Venus-NN, there are karmic lessons for both people, so I honestly doubt the importance of the connection was only felt by you. You are right that he tends to lose interest without a challenge or difficulty, though. That can be seen by both his Moon-Saturn but also his Sun-Mars/Pluto. Still, you cause difficulty in his chart, so he would probably perceive you as unattainable, especially with his Venus being square your Saturn rather than vice versa, and the fact that there is a Venus-Pluto synastry square. You have the chart of a woman not easily wooed, so I doubt he perceives you that way. However, he is not going to ever likely express profound interest in you even if he feels it because he has too many blockages in his own chart that are further exacerbated in synastry with you.

8
Tanit3333 wrote:I honestly doubt there is lack of interest on his side but, like I said, Sun-Mars likes a chase, which can translate as headgames, especially being Virgo influenced, which is not particularly demonstrative in love and is also very practical (and critical). He has too many things in his own chart being activated for me to think lack of interest on his side but he sounds like he lacks maturity and might be more of a lone wolf type on an intimacy level (even if he has friends), which can be common in people with a lot of Saturn in their chart. It would be difficult for him to have emotional intimacy with someone and he would push people away as a result, even if you had not broken it off yourself. With his Venus squaring his Saturn influenced Moon-Neptune-Uranus there is a difficulty in reconciling wants and needs in relationships as well as being able to fully commit emotionally. Neptune makes that more difficult because the emotions are really confused or can be misguided, which can again lead to acting unsure, which translates as headgames. It would take a lot of work for him to figure out what he even wants, in spite of such strong masculine drives that suggest otherwise (his Mars and Pluto influenced Sun. He also probably deals with some of his own insecurities in spite of this and would be great at hiding them). Moon-Uranus is especially difficult if it came to living together because it is not great for domestic bliss. You are both a lot alike in some regards, though.

Often with Venus-NN, there are karmic lessons for both people, so I honestly doubt the importance of the connection was only felt by you. You are right that he tends to lose interest without a challenge or difficulty, though. That can be seen by both his Moon-Saturn but also his Sun-Mars/Pluto. Still, you cause difficulty in his chart, so he would probably perceive you as unattainable, especially with his Venus being square your Saturn rather than vice versa, and the fact that there is a Venus-Pluto synastry square. You have the chart of a woman not easily wooed, so I doubt he perceives you that way. However, he is not going to ever likely express profound interest in you even if he feels it because he has too many blockages in his own chart that are further exacerbated in synastry with you.
i think that meeting him gave me some kind of a lesson. and it was not only me who was influenced by it but also him. as i said before the toxic company of friends involved with drinking, smoking, working h hard, getting awards but doing some light drigs didnt suit me. i was fresh and maybe 'too innocent' and when men from this company started to be nice to me and started to introduce me delicately to more people, women blocked me especially this Taurus woman.
so this what happened in 2015 not only by him but general in my life caused some life lessons to me. i know that i am much more stronger than those women, especially this taurus woman now. and other women. i am getting stronger mentally than those men.
i dont take it as a competition but i feel like phoenix being born again from ashes. its weird but now i dont need and i dont have feeling to prove myself to others. really.
my strings are not attached to anyone. i just have my family and a few friends as i said before. its simple to me to think about moving to the other city for a better payed job. i dont have this emotional connection of missing out or being missed by ;friends;. no, people come and go and only family stays.

before 2015 i think i lived only in a bubble of my studies, other university friends and family. this what happened in 2015 not only romance with Virgo but also other factors including working as a set designer, having faced a harsh reality of this film environment gave me a big big lesson.
so i think that i got matured since 2015 and i still dont know WHY i did it when i was 25 not 20.
i generally franckly speaking feel like i am mentally grown up later ( circa 5 years) than my other friends from the same age .

maybe it was what it is. i dont know. maybe this saturn anc capricorn aspects in my chart dont let me open up more emotionally . i wish i could but i cant and sometimes i dont know how people do it. how they form connectiosn and relations. really.

anyway, thank you for such a long and informative answer again. i apologise for giging this thema again after some years and months but i felt i needed to.
thank you again,
M