Does he want me back?

1
My boyfriend of six years started running around with other women so I stopped seeing him about a year ago. He continually rang me daily, asked me out and from what I could tell was still expecting a relationship but based on him being able to see other people - which I refused. The woman he was seeing seems to have disappeared off the scene and despite me telling him I don't want anything to do with him he still calls (I don't answer). He hasn't asked outright to seeing me again but he is so persistent in his contact with me - so I asked the question:

Does he want me back?
2 Feb 2007
5.30pm GMT
London
Regio houses

Asc 21 degrees

I am signified by the Sun, Moon and Venus - He by Saturn. Saturn is retro and conjunct my ascendant. Saturn is also applying to conjunct the Moon and Sun and Saturn apply by opposition to each other.

As far as the receptions go they are mutual by rulership between Sun and Saturn so there is still feelings there on both parties. I do still love him but hate him at the same time which shows up in the Moon's receptions where Saturn is in its detriment. I think its also interesting that both our significators are in detriment to ourselves - we love each other but hate ourselves for it - or am I reading this wrong?

This looks like a yes but I can't see its something that would be lasting due to Saturn being retrograde - he'd probably back off again and the opposition between the two parties would mean it would be a regretful reunion especially as he isn't a faithful person.

Can anyone shed more light on this if I've missed anything?

Thanks!

2
Hi Scorpio,

I pretty much agree with your assessment of this chart. I think the potential is there for a reconcilliation but that it is not the best idea. I am always wary of retrograde significators because even though the planet of the quesited is also applying to the querent (unlike where both planets are direct and one is applying to the other) once it goes direct again, the likelyhood that there will be a change of mind is strong.
Also, with the main significators being in opposition, it is unlikely that things will go well. Lilly says of the applying opposition that, even though it is likely to be a yes, you may live to regret it. The good reception between you means that you have strong feelings for each other but most of us know that it takes a lot more than that to make things work. Your significators in their own detriment suggests that neither of you is in a position of strength to make a good decision right now.

3
Thanks Sue!

I think he's only interested in me because he has no one else and I'm sure that if someone else came along I would be pushed to one side again just as before so I know its not a good idea to get re involved no matter how I feel as we all know, leopards don't change their spots! :D

4
Call me a hopeless romantic, but I would give it a second thought. Even though you and Sue are probably right, Frawley says the retrograde significator does show the person trying to backtrack and reconcile, and if you say you still love him, it might be worth giving him a second chance. But, I guess that's the difference between a Scorpio and a Cancer like myself, indeed, very different approaches. Good luck.

5
Hi Moondance,

You may well be a hopeless romantic and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. It is probably better than outright cinicism. But sometimes a little realism doesn't hurt either.
Frawley says the retrograde significator does show the person trying to backtrack and reconcile,
No one is arguing with this. It certainly does show the person trying to backtrack. However, other indications do not bode well for the reconcilliation. If he is only going back because he has no one else at the moment (as Scorpio suggests as a possibility) then once Saturn goes direct again there is a good chance he will be off. Also the opposition suggests that there will be regrets if she decides to give it another go. I did a chart a couple of years ago where the significator of the quesited was retrograding back to a conjunction with the querent. However, once the significator of the quesited turned direct she changed her mind and moved away again. That is not to say that this situation is impossible but there are definitely warning signs.

The answer to the original question, 'Does he want me back?' certainly seems to be yes. It also seems that there will be some sort of reconcilliation. Whether this is a good idea or not is another thing. All aspects perfect at some point. However, the Sun perfects an aspect with Jupiter before it perfects its opposition with Saturn. The Sun/Saturn opposition is a relatively wide orb. I am curious as to what Jupiter might represent in the chart given the reception with the Moon and that it makes a sextile to the Sun before the Sun perfects with Saturn. It is the ruler of the 5th house. Jupiter seems to be the strongest planet in the chart. Do you have someone else on the horizon Scorpio?

6
Hi Moondance,

All aspects perfect at some point. However, the Sun perfects an aspect with Jupiter before it perfects its opposition with Saturn. The Sun/Saturn opposition is a relatively wide orb. I am curious as to what Jupiter might represent in the chart given the reception with the Moon and that it makes a sextile to the Sun before the Sun perfects with Saturn. It is the ruler of the 5th house. Jupiter seems to be the strongest planet in the chart. Do you have someone else on the horizon Scorpio?
That would be a very good question !

I would be very curious about the outcome of this. I did a similar chart for someone . My thought was that Jupiter is a helper and by Collecting light from Saturn and Sun(both applying to it) it will be a friend who helps out. Sun's application to Jupiter before the oppn to saturn was to be a protective influence. Jupiter in that case -the 5th lord and hence 11th from 7th. The querent- a male- accidently met up the friend of the quesited and soon after had an email through an internet fora, from the quesited, who then left disappointed as the querent was still wavering.

There is a distinct possiblity that this 5th house person may have actually confused the issue for the 7th . However, I have also found the 5th house to represent -emails- a bit like a modern day messenger and less like an old fashioned letter- but that is my own crazy view.

PD :roll:

7
The only other man that I still speak to is my ex husband, there is no one else.

As for second chances, this man has had more chances than you could shake a stick at, hence my hesitation should he want to reconcile.

8
"As for second chances, this man has had more chances than you could shake a stick at, hence my hesitation should he want to reconcile."

Normally I wouldn't go on about my own experience in post this way, but I see such similarities Scorpio in your situation and mine.

I understand how difficult it is to want to trust and give the benefit of the doubt to someone who convinces he/she has changed especailly if you have a history that was once good and loved each other (however love is defined at the time...no matter how dysfunctional because we are not as conscious).

I had given someone many chances in the past as well. Later I noticed that he seemed to be coming around when Venus would go retro. and then change his mind. It was completely upsetting and frustrating as many issues could not even begin to be resolved before the whole thing was unstable again.

Several years later he came around again after the relationship the women he left me for and had a child with didn't work out. That right there was a tall order for me to contend with - that "the women" would be in the background of his life because of the connection to his child and now, after giving all to her, he had very little to offer me (yes, I now wonder, what was I thinking to begin with?)

I ended it after six months....for good. I could plainly see he had no intention of making a committment to me after his "mistakes", but it took him 7 months to stop calling (many calls were not acknowledged and I only did speak to him because he still needed to send me some things). I finally had to yell at him "it's over!....get it through your head!". He still tried to call again six weeks later....I changed my number and that was finally the end of it (it's been nearly two years now and I have my peace of mind and sanity back).

So many deep, deep issues that never got resolved...his fear of abandonmnet which he constantly did to me which then shook my self esteem. We had created a very unhealthy pattern and I allowed my part in it all. All I can say is what a roller coaster it was and, a mess- my Moon conj. his SN and Venus...a very compelling energy to want to go back to the past and try again. His Pluto trine my Venus...compelling again and his Sun opp. his Pluto...he definitely wielded some control over me but it took a long time for me to see this (not so long the second time). My Venus was opp. his Neptune (me, starry eyed and living in a dream world)

My strength was in finally closing the door forever and going on alone since I had done that after he initially left me for several years the first time. I don't think he counted on that and from what I could perceive in our last conversation, he was shocked. What made me mad was that he still perceived me as weak and going to give in and fall for the same M.O.,
(sweet talk and "future" together) but time had changed me and it was apparent that we were now not equals; I had done my homework and him, not.

If you should reconcile, make sure he has come to some realizations about his behavior. Crack the door only slightly if you should give him another chance so he will know you are serious and well aware of the implications of his participation in your life and your potential investment.
I feel I took my person back too soon without him needing to prove his worthiness and I paid the price of more wasted time and heartache. I took his growth for granted but ultimately, it simply wasn't there.

I hope that doesn't happen to you.

Good luck, Keri

9
Thanks Keri for sharing your story, it rings bells thats for sure!

I will see what happens. He hasn't asked me yet and may never, I feel I've been kept on the back burner for his own selfish reasons which irks me somewhat and that alone would make me not want to reconcile with him but I would like the opportunity to say no! He asked me by text yesterday if I was happy. I texted back I was - I wouldn't let him know if I wasn't! His reason for asking was he was just 'wondering'. :-?

Should I use this chart to work out a possible time frame? I'm just curious to know if he will as this chart is relatively positive.

10
Thought I'd give you an update. We won't be reconcilling that's for sure! A couple of days ago he asked me for a loan to which I declined in offering as he had borrowed money before and not repaid it - and argument ensued. Jupiter rules his house of money - so could that have been the connection in the chart?

11
Hi Scorpio,

Sorry it didn't work out. Jupiter could well represent money being the ruler of his 2nd house, your 8th. Mercury is the ruler of your 2nd house and is in his 1st house, his desire for your money. This may be representative of the Sun and Jupiter perfecting the aspect before Sun/Saturn. Your money, Mercury, is under the rulership of Jupiter and in its fall and detriment. There is minor reception but no aspect. So, even though the potential was there for monetary exchange, it would have been a bad idea. Mercury is not in great shape at all. There was plenty of contact in the chart but none of it was too successful. Even though there was an applying aspect between the two significators it was an opposition and it was not a pleasant or successful exchange, which is what Lilly warns of in relation to an opposition between significators.