Is it wrong to start thinking about what you will look for in a chart if you asked a particular question before you ask it? Or slightly change your question because you know you can't answer the question you really want to ask?

I will use my dilemma as an example. My wife is so sure that an old teacher's aid of mine who offered to give me free massages before aikido is gay, that she's got me petrified to go over there.

I wanted to do a horary chart to help me decide whether it's true or whether I'd just be rejecting an old 'friend', but I was trying to work out what question to ask as I knew I wouldn't be able to read the charts of some questions I'd ask. For example - should I go? is he gay? is he after me? (too many angles to approach from!)

Now my point is, is it 'wrong' to deliberately change your question (which may not be exactly what you're wanting to know, but close to) if you know that you will be able to read the chart easier? Or is it wrong to pick a question to ask as you know what you will be looking for?

Any help would be much appreciated.

It?s advisable to put some thought into your question so that you frame it in a way you know you can answer it. Usually, that?s about identifying the core issue and making the matter very simple.

Think about what crossed your mind ?

is he gay? - asking that question seems pointless. What difference does it make if he is? It doesn?t mean that he?s offered those massages with any ulterior motive in mind and you would still be confused about whether to reject an old friend. If you did want to establish this, you might ask ?is the rumour true? and judge by the 3rd house, but it wouldn?t establish whether that?s significant to you.

is he after me? (too many angles to approach from!) ? not really. If you have a legitimate concern the chart should show whether his offer is sincere and based on friendship or whether he is contriving an excuse to get his hands on you
You need to decide whether you identify him as a friend (signified by the 11th house) or a potential sexual predator (signified by the 7th). I would normally treat this as a 1st-7th house matter to identify the nature of the relationship between you and whether that presents any problems.

Should I go? ? Horaries don?t make moral decisions for you, but if you are in an uncomfortable position they should reveal that to be the case. I guess that would only be so if the answer to the 2nd question was yes, making this question part of the judgement you form on that.

It does seem to me that since this is an old friend and you don?t actually know his sexual inclinations, he must be keeping them to himself. So unless he gives you cause to mistrust his friendship why fill your mind with suspicion and paranoia?

Thank you very much for your help Deb, I have learnt a lot