Since I remember I wanted to be an artist. I begun persuing this activity when I was about 16 years old, against strong oposition of my father, who happens to be a wealthy bussinessman, and wanted me to fallow his steps and play monopoly in real life. We were never close, emotionaly, and I couldent be less entusiastic about a life dealling with bank accounts and office work and papers and burocracy.

He has been paying me an allowance, that allows me to live abroad without working always, giving me time to paint and write. Sometimes, I fall a bit short of money though, and work in some shitty job for a couple months, to get my bankroll back to healthy level. He has been showing some dissatisfaction with the situation, and subtly threatens to cut off the help.
He thinks Im a big failure, a looser who spends his days dreaming and drinking alcool(witch is only partially true ).
He?s allways offering me a post at his side back home, very well paid. For me this would be giving up life all together...

The problem is that Im painting for some years now, and I never had a single exposition, partially becouse I feel so insecure!! I did get some offers, but I feel my work is still imature, and hard to aproach for most people. It sure aint "orthodox" and Im selfthaught. Most artiats just show signs of confusion( especialy the young ones, art students...)with some refreshing exeptions...

Im must say I do feel it haves quality, a specific kind of quality I dont see In my contemporary fellow artists(the ones I know), but most enthusiastic reviews I receave come from good friends, who know how important it is for me and dont want to hurt my feelings, and I always have the impression of pity in their eyes...

I?ve been experiencing strong existential crissis(my ascendant is at 01? Capricorn and Plutos transit is simply never ending!!)
My self steam fell bellow ground level when the girl I was dating showed me that her idea of me is that Im some kind of dilettante lazy man, who has painting for a hobby.

I got to this filosophical attitude towards the whole thing that goes something like "I love painting, and that is the only thing I like to do... earning money or been seen as a serious artist is not important for me" but people meke me feel childish about it, like Im an old adolescent or something of the sort, and I realise that in front of most peoples eyes Im professionaly "nothing". I stoped introducing me as an artist, as I feel ashamed, and I just say I do nothing for a living.

I gess Ill continue painting even if Im sure I never get reconised, as I love it, but I dont know if Ill feel acomplished, and Im afraid I continue feeling like I do now, like somekind of useless piece of s---t, living a meaningless life...

I gess aknoledgement is important for me after all.

I made a chart:


"will I ever be acomplished artist?"
Tu., 15 Dec. 2009
in Lisboa, PORT, 9w08, 38n43
Time 4:44 am
Univ.Time 4:44
Sid. Time 9:43:23

Im new to horary, I aproatch it a bit like a natal chart, I know I shouldnt...

My significator is conjoining the MC, witch seem logical since Im concerned with my career, oposing Jupiter in the 4th(big dady? ) The sun, ruller of the 10th conjoining Venus in the 2nd both making trine to mars(I supose this is not bad??)

I cant take mutch out of heare, some ideas?

Im sory I took so long, thank you for reading.
Sory about all the English mistakes, it is not my native language, I hope you can understand it.

Many thanks!!

Hi Matchhead - I empathize with your situation a great deal, and do hope that you don't have to give up this dream. No matter what horary or anyone tells you, you should never give up, especially on life. As George Eliot once said, "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

I'm not a professional, but I will offer my two cents. Saturn appears to be your father here (4th ruler), and I can see him sitting pretty in your 11th house of dreams/hopes. Your 2nd house of finances/income ruler, Jupiter conjunct the 4th angle, is also showing the radicality of the chart because it is disposited by Saturn, which is your father (money from your father). I don't think the money will be taken from you, because it is in a fixed sign and the Moon will meet up with Jupiter before it meets the Sun (the MC ruler). Also, the opposition between Mars-Jupiter never perfects (denial of perfection), so the source of money is likely not stopped.

Mars is very slow right now, so it is barely moving towards its goal, and will soon go retro (which I hope doesn't mean giving up) and it is also being squared by the AC, so you may thwart your own efforts. As Deb mentioned in another post, Mars in Leo slow shows someone who is normally good at making decisions and going after what it wants, but here it is losing its confidence and hesitating rather than acting. Mars conjunct the MC shows how much you want and likely idealize this career. Moon is peregrine, so a wanderer, confused on how to get what it wants.

The MC ruler (career) is the Sun, in the 2nd house of finances. This seems to say that you expect a big payoff in being an artist, but the Sun doesn't do so well in the 2nd, and it lacks dignity, so probably will not pay so well as you would hope. But being rich and famous does not always come with the territory of an artist. The Moon doth approach the Sun, indicating some sort of future here, but it will get burned (be combust) when it does. I guess this might point to fame of a minor level though, because fame can certainly be combustive? I would have to hear from other astrologers on this combustion here. Venus, natural ruler of the arts, and also ruler of the 7th house of partnerships/business associates, seems to offer assistance to you as well. Venus translates light of Mars to Sun, which could show someone else helping to get you recognized, possibly a woman.

You mentioned you've missed opportunities, and this is being shown by the MC-Mars separation, and also the Sun-Mars separation. It appears that you will be given another opportunity, likely through this Venus person, and I hope you don't miss this one. The Venus-Sun aspect might occur in about 7 months (7 degrees, Venus mutable, succeedent).

I wish you luck!

I agree, don't give up your dream and always introduce yourself as an artist. Our thoughts and words form us. And look up Malsow's Hierarchy of Needs and Johari's Window (the feedback from friends and the pity you perceive) since you have been in an existential crisis.

Moon applies to venus, ruler of 12th, self undoing and 7th, other people, so there is a connection here. You are allowing others opinion of you to influence you in a very negative way. 12th ruler in 1st.. you are your own worst enemy. OK technically in 2nd, your money in the bank, but I still think it has that message for you. And a message that the 2nd house is your un-doing. ie your personal resources and self esteem, which is low. Mars has such strong reception of jupiter, you are obssesed with 2nd house issues and all that jupiter represents in the chart.

Have you thought about trying to find a profession that can use your artistic skills. POF at critical last degree in first is conj the part of investigation.. so look at what else you can do. Art therapy? Teaching? NN on 3rd house might suggest primary education. Or graphic design, advertising etc.

Your father in the 11th is concerned about you having a salary from your work. We have to take personal responsibility for ourselves and the allowance hasn't helped you to stand on your own 2 feet. Mars and saturn in each others detriment shows how the 2 of you don't understand each other. The chart repeats again and again the idea of your father's money affecting you.

Mars looks like it will oppose jup, father's money and trine sun, the career. So rejecting the money and gaining the career. But mars goes retrograde first.. changing it's mind about the money and the career. Check out the POF again.. in the first, ruled by mars which also rules the 6th. You need to be/feel of use, that is the remedy for an existential crisis.

Mars looks like it will oppose jup, father's money and trine sun, the career.

The opposition never happens.

That's right, it has a fancy name. Refranation. And nor does the trine so we have a classic example of prohibition. Or a "no" to the question. Sounds harsh, but actually I think it's really positive.

This chart is fascinating and totaly radical, in spite of mars rising on a moon day in a moon hour. Andrew Bevan says something about moon hour, to do with fluidity or changes, can't remember exactly, but it fits here.

The father, saturn, is in terms of mercury., L11.. I think he does want to be sympathetic to his son's dreams but being in detriment he can't understand them. AND he wants his son to earn a salary. Mercury is also L8, loss, showing the father's thoughts of cutting off the legacy to the son. And uranus in L5 echoes this sudden potential rift concerning the father's money.

L2, querent's resources, and L5, father's money are the same planet, jupiter, and mars is in every dignity except rulership which goes to sun, the career, and detriment which goes to saturn, father.

The moon is currently translating from saturn to venus... L3 and L4 to L7 & L12... communication etc and father..to... potential clients & self undoing. That venus is combust, the clients are destroyed but so is the self-undoing.

The full movement of moon .. separates from saturn, conj venus, trine mars, sextile jupiter, and finally conj sun. So the refranation above is actually perfected by the moon? It's a long journey...And jupiter is still in the way.

I actually see this chart as a wake up call to the querent which is self-generated.

And nor does the trine so we have a classic example of prohibition.

Which trine?

I'll admit the Sun combusting sigs is generally a negative.

Thank you so very much for your replys.
In some points they were quite insightfull.
I partially agree with PallasAthene in that my father would tolerate my career option if I had a salary, though I think he wouldnt really like it, he would probably accept it. About the other activities that still have to do with art, I generally discard teaching as I made the decision to follow the selfteaching way, I find it contradictory to teach others, nevertheless I may change views eventually, who knows?
I really dont think I have any kind of ability in advertising since one of my main problems(in what comes to creativity) is that people dont seem to fully understand the messages I want to pass, witch is critical in this area.
Art therapy does seem interesting...never thougth about it.

Maybe deep inside I have the ambition to be very well paid, like Tanit333 say, as thats one of the biggest demonstrations of acknoledgement and mundane succes, and money is without a doubt, the greatest proof of succes one can have in my fathers way of reasoning, and it would be great to earn his respect(I don?t heve this now) and be able to reject the allowance without being confined to unintresting jobs. Nevertheless, I generally fantasize more about critical aclaim by some renowned conosseurs than earning a lot of money or being known by larger public.

the money part would be mostly to tell my father "you didnt beleave me but I made it anyways.". This would give me great satisfaction, but I gess what would make me feel really good about myself would be being reconized as seriously good by people whose opinions about art I respect. The guys that know something about the deal.

I?ll study more in deep your replys, as there are so many new concepts to me! I really know nothing about horary yet. when you guys reveal your prossess of reading it seems so logical... I realise I fail to see basic things in a chart. Ill definetely learn a good deal with this. theres a long way ahead...

Your quote on George Eliot is mostly inspiring and reassuring Tanit. Thank you.

If I can just add a bit of advice as a (sometime) painter myself. It is a good idea to take classes and be taught techniques and learn from the masters of the past. It doesn't mean you should give up your personal approach or change your style, but having studied many different art forms from acting to films to painting and writing, it really does help to inform your craft. I may be wrong but I think your father might have more respect if you were following some line of learning. Also, I had to accept long ago that I would never be a career person, but I have supported myself many years by waiting tables as it both gives you time and money.


Sorry, it's not about the chart, but your post really moved me! I wish you all the best!

Tanit333 wrote:

And nor does the trine so we have a classic example of prohibition.

Which trine?

Sun to mars.. sun gets to jup first, so father's money, 5th and 8th, prohibits.. and mars goes rx anyway, querent changes their mind. I think this is in the arena of expectations... loosing the craving for recognition, becoming more realistic, rather than giving up art totally.

Sun to mars.. sun gets to jup first, so father's money, 5th and 8th, prohibits.. and mars goes rx anyway, querent changes their mind. I think this is in the arena of expectations... loosing the craving for recognition, becoming more realistic, rather than giving up art totally.

The opposition between Mars-Jupiter never occured at all, whereas the trine of Sun-Mars has already occured in the chart, showing past opportunities, and it happened before the Sun met Jupiter. Sun-Jupiter are also already separating.

It is possible that Jupiter might be prohibitory towards Moon (sextile), but I find that unlikely, especially since the power of the Sun would trump Jupiter's influences? And Venus is going to translate light of Mars back to Sun anyway, though maybe Venus would be powerless via combustion.

The problem here seems to be that the querent is lacking in confidence (Mars in Leo slow, Moon peregrine) and the MC ruler is combusting the sigs involved, not prohibition by Jupiter.

I read a quote somewhere that said, "The significator of the Querent Combust, shews him or her in great fear, and over powered by some great person." Here the thing that is causing fear and crippling the matter is the MC ruler.

And Venus is going to translate light of Mars back to Sun anyway, though maybe Venus would be powerless via combustion.

Correction - Venus doesn't meet up with Sun until Capricorn. What a tangled web of planets here.

We all have our problems. We all want to be acknowledged in one way or another.

It's possible to find a way without an Internet connection and planets.