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A little light relief - proof astrology is real

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Joined: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 423
Location: Wales

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2021 12:38 pm    Post subject: A little light relief - proof astrology is real Reply with quote

The following laws prove that the universe is not random and therefore that astrology(mainly the malefics) is operating for us all daily:

1.Law of Mechanical Repair- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the room.

3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of the act.

4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.Variation Law - If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you moved to.

6.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

8.Law of the Result: Part 2 - When you try to prove to someone that a machine will work, it won't.

9.Law of Biomechanics- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.Law of the Theater, Arena & Stadium - At any event the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12.Law of the Locker Room - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of a slice of toast and jam landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Illustrated perfectly since January 20, 2017.

15.Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16.Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

18.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor; by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
"The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper" Eden Phillpotts
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Joined: 05 Mar 2009
Posts: 986
Location: Canada

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2021 2:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

These are great. Variants on Murphy's law?

I suspect Mercury, who rules tricksters. Then Mercury retrograde has a rotten reputation for causing snafus*.

*which stands for Situation Normal. All F***ed Up."
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Joined: 22 Nov 2017
Posts: 86

Posted: Fri Aug 20, 2021 10:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great write-up. Thanks!
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